An Ewok lover recently commented on my recent Star Wars post.  She wanted to voice her approval for the furry little Ewoks (and also Muppets in general it seems.)  I agreed with her sentiments that Muppet-Yoda is much more endearing than CGI-Yoda.  And I have nothing personal against The Muppets per se (although I find Miss Piggy quite a bit taxing.)

But the Ewoks…now that’s another discussion.

Her innocent comment got me to thinking about my position on Ewoks.  Do I dislike them because it’s currently fashionable to naysay Return of the Jedi with its overabundance of these chattering furballs?  Or is it just that I have height bias; since I am a big fan of Wookies (who are also very furry and hard to understand)?  It could be that I don’t like them because I’m fairly confident that if they existed here in America, Michael Jackson would be housing a tribe of them in his Neverland home.  (Disturbing…)

Finally, I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t like Ewoks.  The Ewoks are plainly just your standard bubble-gum chewing, American Idol-lovin’, overgrown Mogwai who will always live in the shadows of their superior intergalactic neighbors–the Jawas! 

Before someone points out how tough the Ewoks were, let me say I know the Ewoks (supposedly) helped destroyed the Imperial forces on Endor and all that jazz!  But these bidped bath mats had some pretty significant assistance from a slough of rugged Jedi knights (i.e. Luke, Leah, spirit Obi Wan, Muppet-Yoda, etc.) a rogue space cowboy (Han) and his smirking sidekick Wookie (Chewie) among other Rebel forces.

There’s no free meals like this for the Jawas however.  Oh sure, they are a bit mercenary, but that’s why I like them.  The Jawas are tougher, more intelligent (i.e. the use of motorized vehicles and assembly/repair of droids), more technologically advanced (i.e. the use of weapons such as blasters as opposed to Ewok spears, sharp rocks, and garbled giggling). They are craftier, more mysterious, and more likely to have beady wandering eyes (plural).  They are also more likely to tie you up, carry you over the dessert, and sell you to Jabba the Hut for power converters.  Hey, what’s not to love?  I’d take 1 good Jawa for 50 of those buck-toothed tree-lovers.  (What?!  You act like you’ve never debated this topic before…)