Xining – October 28th

The Zhang family standoff with the Haiguan Duimian Apartment Complex (HDAC) over the Great Radiator Debacle seems to have ended in peaceful deliberations early this morning. After weeks of boycotting the new radiator installation by refusing workers access to their apartment, the Zhangs were finally given the platform desired to voice their concerns and seek expedient resolution to their lou (leak) crises. In essence, they got the attention of the upper echelons of HDAC management. Around 10 a.m. the head honcho (a.k.a. big cheese, big kahuna, the Boss, Xing Xiansheng) for HDAC showed up at the Zhang’s apartment to personally help facilitate a resolution.

This was a monumental day for the Zhangs and the greater HDAC community due to all that had transpired during the course of the the past week. Unconfirmed sources claim that the Zhang’s apartment was the only remaining unit that still required radiator installation and that their boycott had thrown a wrench into the corporate machine–thus drawing much attention to their cause. Other unconfirmed sources claim that that last statement is just the media’s way of blowing things out of proportion to make the story sound more interesting than it really is.

To fully appreciate the magnitude of what may have been accomplished in the HDAC-Zhang Summit, a synopsis of the most current HDAC events is required:

• The Norwegian neighbors/translators and fellow HDAC tenants discovered a strange odor in one of their bathrooms. Upon further investigation they realized that they had a leak much like the Zhangs. Only much worse. During the course of the Great Radiator Debacle, the unoccupied apartment directly above the Norwegian neighbors was occupied by many workers…who subequently had to relieve themselves…into a bathroom with bad plumbing. Much to their horror, the Norwegian neighbors had fallen prey to the Great Radiator Conspiracy and now had raw sewage falling onto the PVC (i.e. lowered roof) they had had installed in their bathroom. After a stressful day dealing with HDAC managers, hiring workers/cleaners, and making sure the plumbing got fixed, the Norweigian neighbor’s problem was solved. Or was it…
• The day of the negotiations, the aforementioned Norwegian neighbors discover a pungeant odor coming from one of their bedrooms. In the blink of an eye they realize that the electric heater that is running in their bedroom is causing a FIRE! The Norwegian neighbors quickly shut off the electricity and put the sparks out…causing only minor damage to their floor. A faulty wire on the radiator was to blame for the incident. While some sources claim the Great Radiator Debacle was unrelated to this event, others are not so sure…
• During the peace talks, the Zhang family discovers the horrifying truth that the lou they have battled with for weeks now was indeed the result of a leaky toilet upstairs! GROSS!!!
• Some time after the peace talks, in an effort that the conspiracy theorists are claiming was intended as the last ditch effort of the Radiator Conspiracy to drive the Zhang family over the brink, the landlord from the apartment below the Zhang’s showed up to complain about the lou from the Zhang’s apartment down into the second floor bathroom! During the course of these discussions, in addition to having the leak fixed (yeah, thanks for helping them now!) the landlord beneath offerred to pay to have the Zhangs’ flooring ripped out and replaced since it had obviously been damaged by the leak. The renovation offerred would just require that the Zhang’s NOT USE their bathroom for a full week (in reality probably more like a full month) while the work was being done. Unsatisfied with the idea of further "improvements" to their home, the Zhangs refused the offer in favor of waiting to see if fixing the leak would resolve the problem with the floor/ceiling.

As you can see, the Zhang/HDAC Summit could have far-reaching results. Or it could just lead to more of the same kind of mafan.

After the Summit, Zhang Xiansheng said, "Hey, we’re just moving into phase two. If this latest solution doesn’t work [replacing the toilet upstairs and filling in plaster over the holes in floor/ceiling] I think my next suggestion to the workers will be that they just knock all the walls in our apartment down and start over. The second time may be a charm…who knows?"

Maybe the second time around will be a charm for the Zhangs after all…

Because when HDAC officials were asked when the discussed repairs would be done, they responded in true form.

"Tomorrow. We’ll have someone work on it tomorrow."

Meanwhile, the radiators are already in, for better or worse…

The Yeti reporting…