It sounds so ominous, doesn’t it? But before you get too alarmed I should probably clarify that I was not the patient.

Neither were any members of our immediate family. (Not to be too self-focused!)

Unfortunately, our Norwegian neighbor, oh, let’s just call him Tomas (seems arbritary enough) was not so lucky. I got a phone call this evening and was told that my friend Tomas had been in a bicycle accident and had been badly hurt. He needed help getting his bicycle back home and was feeling a bit dizzy. I ran to find him.

When I found him at our local "7-11" he looked as pale as a ghost. He was holding his left arm in a way that made me think of two possibilities a.) his arm must really, really hurt or b.) he must have had a stroke because he’s not moving the left side of his body.

He had not had a stroke but had been the victim of a common occurrence here in our city called Xining Frogger. Xining Frogger is much like the classic Atari video game Frogger where frogs try to cross busy intersections without being flattened by cars, milk trucks, and tractor trailers (among other things). Only with Xining Frogger the frogs take the form of real flesh-and-blood people who try to avoid taxi cabs, buses, and motorcycle / tractor hybrid vehicles.

In this case Tomas was playing Xining Frogger but he was the driver (of a bicycle) and an unsuspecting froghead jumped into his path at the last minute. In an effort to avoid the poor amphibian, Tomas took a spill on his bicycle crashing into the man in the process and landing full force on his innocent left arm. (We later discovered that he had dislocated his shoulder and fractured the upper part of the bone in his arm.)

Roughly five hours after this occurred, I’m back home from the hospital where I accompanied Tomas typing away and Tomas is sitting in his apartment with a "cast" drying on his injured arm which has hopefully been correctly "relocated" to its proper position. Remains to be seen…

Instead of giving you the blow-by-blow details of the ER, I thought I’d just give you the Lessons I learned tonight about the Xining Red Cross Hospital:

1. I have no desire to ever go there voluntarily for treatment of any serious kind. (I know this is a city that is advancing rapidly in terms of technology, industry, healthcare, etc. but trust me when I say this…the facilities, decor, and concrete floors in this place was scary.)
2. Paying for healthcare services "as you go" is not ideal when your arm is broken or your shoulder is dislocated. For every step of the process, we were required to pay cash before we could move to the next step. For example: Check in, pay 6 kuai; talk to a doctor, pay 10 kuai; get ready for X-rays, pay 150 kuai; talk to an orthopedic surgeon, pay 150 kuai, etc. We knew this situation going in, so we came prepared, but it’s still quite strange from what we are used to. Being billed later now seems like a gift…but Tomas kept a stiff upper lift and even kept a smile during this whole red-tape process.
3. Don’t be surprised if your doctor takes a smoke break while seeing you.
4. Don’t be surprised if your doctor takes a smoke break within the hospital (in the hallway) while seeing you.
5. Don’t be surprised if the whole hospital happens to be a smoking area.
6. Don’t be surprised if your doctor makes small talk with you while waiting for x-ray results and asks you if you and your friends like to go to bars/pubs. Was that a potential invite?
7. Just because your arm is broken doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t hold it up for an x-ray. Say ‘Cheese,’ Tomas! From outside of the room where the x-rays were being done I could hear my friend Tomas crying out in pain a few times. Evidently, the technician wanted him to hold his arm in a specific position to get an x-ray image from a certain angle…ouch! I told Tomas he should have said, "Hey, if I had free range of motion that didn’t cause excruciating pain, I wouldn’t need the x-ray, pal!" Luckily, Tomas is much kinder and gentler than I am and he speaks great Chinese (Qinghai dialect even.) The x-ray tech allowed our friend who is a nurse to hold Tomas’ arm while he took the x-ray. Thank goodness…
8. The radioactive symbol must have a different meaning here. At least I hope that’s the case…there was a poster outside of the x-ray lab that looked like the one posted above. (Gulp.)
9. Lights aren’t as important in hospitals as elevator clerks. The lights in the lobby weren’t working on the floor where Tomas got his cast…(spooky.) But there was a lady sitting on a stool in the elevator who pushed the buttons for the various floors. (Luckily, we didn’t have to pay for her services.)
10. Unlike American hospitals they really want you to stay overnight.  From their perspective it is because they want to "observe" you.  From our perspective it is because they really want to increase revenue…since you’d have to pay cash in advance of course (dangran.)
11. In spite of it all, sometimes things still work out for your overall health and benefit.  Tomas shoulder was put back into place GENTLY (that part astounded me) without surgery as was first suggested and his arm was wrapped in a cast.  Tomorrow he goes back for more x-rays so they can make a comparison (don’t ask…it’s above my puny linear intellect)  For now, he is feeling better.

And the moral of the story for me is: don’t ride bicycles, try your best to avoid pedestrians/vehicles when playing Xining Frogger, stay safe and far away from Xining hospitals, if you do need x-rays where a HAZMAT suit, don’t accept offers to go bar-hopping with Chinese M.D.s and most importantly pray, pray, pray…