- You dislocated your shoulder, had it reset in the local hospital, and the next day decide to fly to Beijing then on to Hong Kong because you weren’t comfortable that it was "set" properly. (I’m not joking; my friend Tomas is in Hong Kong now. Our medical friends here in the city thought he should see a specialist in a city that was a little more trustworthy in terms of its medical care.)
- Your last order of sweet and sour chicken came with "sprinkles" on it. Yes, sprinkles. The kind you might find on a donut in the States. Pink, green, purple little bits of sugar. It was the first time this happened to us and it made me wonder if this dish is only supposed to be served to kids in this city. It’s like we’re going to a nice restaurant and ordering Happy Meals for the whole family. Humiliating.
- Your think you might be developing carpal tunnel and you decide it’s probably from using chopsticks.
- Your expat friends eye the three parcels you just received in the mail the same way that Gollum might eye Frodo’s ring.
- The taxi driver says that your Chinese is "bucuo" (not bad) even though you’ve said a total of only about three or four words. (It still made me feel good even though I snowed him pretty bad.)
- You bring a space heater to your college classroom so that you can feel your own toes again.
- You have mental debates in your head (or with your spouse) regarding the nutritional value and morale-building qualities of a Big Mac.
- The foreign affairs office of your college invites you to a Christmas party where you will be expected to sing and dance. Hmmmmm. (Still working on my routine…)
- You accidentally buy a sausage at the market because it looked like a carrot. (Hey, I was just happy that I could say the word for carrot. I couldn’t bare to tell the clerk I didn’t want the sausage; she seemed so pleased to make a sell.)
- Your daughters kneel at the front door saying "ni hao" repeatedly as a man who looks like chimney sweep dishes "milk" into a wok using a plastic ladle… (surreal)
- You see a Tibetan monk in a long maroon robe cruising down the street in his Nike Airwalks.
- You find that you are shocked when you see a white face in the city on someone you don’t already know. (I saw a Western guy in a store the other day and I turned to Christa and said, "Do you know that guy?" When she said no, I thought "Scandalous!" Someone should have introduced us.)
yeti speak... 
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