At what point do you start to ask yourself whether your child’s somewhat idiosnycratic behavior might actually be a more serious (psychological) condition?

I’m speaking a bit tongue-in-cheek here when I ask this question, but I think you’ll see that I can make a pretty good case to show that my eldest daughter (Anna, age 4) displays some fairly consistent and fairly abnormal behavior patterns…bordering on a severe condition.

Before I present my case, I will say this as a disclaimer:  take a look at at least 1/2 of the poor kid’s gene pool.  I realize I’ve got only myself to blame for any odd behavior that she displays (pesky thing, DNA!), although I must say that I don’t actively encourage such practices…(well, maybe just a little.)

I don’t know the medical term for Anna’s condition (?) and maybe there isn’t one yet, but she is obsessed with things that are round in shape.  This would NOT be sphere-o-phobia (the fear of round objects) but perhaps it could be called sphere-a-philia (i.e. the love of the round.)

As Anna’s concerned parents, it took us quite some time to diagnosis her condition.  There were various symptoms that sprung up, but at the time they seemed unrelated in nature.  As we became more observant, a pattern emerged in her behavior.  Because of the lack of research in this overlooked field, we unfortunately are not yet aware of the severity of this "illness".  We do think it is important to let other Parents of Sphereaphiliac Children (POSC’s) know the common warning signs.  You may be a POSC already if your child does one or more of the following:

• Becomes obsessed with collecting stones, rocks, pieces of concrete, and any other object that could be considered round in nature.
• Constantly talks about the next "beautiful round stones" he/she will find or discover.
• Gets delighted to the point of dancing or singing upon even seeing a rock beside the road.
• Loads his/her pockets, bookbags, purses, and other accessories with stones for later perusal.  ("The day I could no longer lift my daughter’s rock-laden backpack, I knew that we had a problem.")
• Keeps fruit (mostly citrus) with him/her at various times during the day and night…not for eating per se, but for worshipping.
• Sleeps with said fruit mentioned above.
• Asks for a soccer ball for his/her birthday but never kicks it.  Instead, lovingly decorates the spherical object with stickers, paint, and other flare objects.  Gives the soccer ball a place of symbolic prominence in her normal daily rituals.
• Uses exorbitant amounts of Scotch tape to make "balls" out of tissue, underwear, socks, or other random household objects.
• Becomes disturbed to the point of crying or having fits of depression when he/she misplaces a small "bouncy ball" that he/she carries around all day.
• Upon discovering that his/her head is in fact round(ish) becomes very excited, ecstatic and elated by the concept.  (Here are two sphere-a-philiac quotes I heard today: 
  1# – "Daddy, I am going to take my head with me wherever I go!"  This is a good thing.  #2 – "I’m so glad my head is round.  It’s so beautiful."  I was then sadly informed that my head is square.  Upon my rebuttal, she conceded that my head is actually oval-shaped, but in her mind I think that still makes me a bit of a freak…)

So, if you are a parent OR a friend of a parent, you better keep viligant in looking for these warning signs.  It could happen to you or someone you love.  I think I’m going to start a foundation so that we can start raising money for research. 

If you want to send donations to me before the foundation offically gets rolling, feel free.  Sphereaphilia is nothing to shake a stick at. 

Can you imagine if I took Anna in her condtion to EPCOT Center in Orlando?  The horror.  We’d be forced to live there…under the big, round, silver ball!