Hey Joe,

What can one say to you (after all these centuries) that hasn’t already been said?  You had a part to play in all of it, but in most people’s minds you’ve always been reduced to a minor (bearded) character–an extra or backdrop.  Step in line behind Magi and Shepherds, pal.  You didn’t carry the Child in your womb.  Your DNA isn’t mixed up in the saga. Your visit from the angel wasn’t even during normal business hours (you could have dreamt it even?)  You were on the margins, often pushed to the outside looking in, you were the guy who forgot to call ahead and make hotel reservations for your very pregnant wife!  (Doh.)

But you were more than that, too.  More than the caricature.  And that’s why I’m writing.  You were a devoted husband and a father.  You were a man of compassion, gentleness, wisdom, patience, discernment and strength.  In many ways you are what I aspire to be, Joseph–in more ways than you can know.

Yeah, you could have run.  Given the circumstances, I’m not sure I would have stayed–dream or no dream.  Did it hurt much when your fiancee wound up pregnant?  The shame, the confusion.  I imagine it tore your insides out for a while–it twisted them and made your heart swell to the point of breaking.  The life you had envisioned with your Love began to crumble quickly around you…  But even then with all that pain so fresh, in that lingering suspicion of terrible betrayal, you chose a path of dignity and compassion.  (Quietly break it off; send her away, draw little attention and no condemnation to Mary’s indiscretion.)  Where could you go from there?  Where would healing come from?

And then there was the dream.  You got a visitor in your R.E.M. state, didn’t you?  The angel came with a message for you to stay put and marry Mary.  Stay?  This son of hers, of yours, was from God, sent from heaven to save the world from its sin?  Was this really happening?  It was a tall order.  Did you tell your friends about this divine message when you woke?  Or did you decide to keep it close to your chest to avoid their laughter?  I wonder if it was hard to go through with it–even though your conscience knew it was the right thing to do.  Surely people questioned your character.  They whispered when you passed by.  A righteous man, they would say, wouldn’t be in this situation. 

But we aren’t given much info into your state of mind at the time.  The doubts must have been there in the midst of the wedding plans.  But you went through with it anyway, listening to God’s voice while quelling the doubts from within and without.  You became a rock for your wife when she needed you to be one.

And you loved her I think.  And you loved your son, too. He was born into strange circumstances–not what you would have desired, but such is life–unpredictable, full of scandal at times.  We improvise, don’t we?

I wish I knew more about you because I think I could have learned a lot from you.  What was it like when you held His little hand in yours?  How hard was it to imagine Him (such a weak thing) coming into the world with strength enough to save it?  Could the eyes of God be somewhere behind those closed lids.  You never even had the chance to know your wife intimately before he was born. 

You gave up a lot for this son you fathered, but had no part in creating.  And the coming days would find you on the run–hiding out from shadowy enemies that wanted to kill this son who had changed your life so dramatically.  More dreams, more questions.  There were strange psychic-types with expensive gifts, there were smelly shepherds with dumb-founded expressions on their faces, there were bright stars and noisy animals gathered round your son’s trough (crib?) and there was you, in the midst of the unfolding drama of the Christ child.

What was it like, Joe?  Could you be a father when your Son had a Father and was a Father?  It turns the mind around a bit.  From behind the curtain of all these years that separate us I have so many questions about you and about your Son.  I know more about Him, the picture is clearer, but there are still so many questions.  But there are two things I can imagine about you quite well:

your fatherly smile and pride.

Thanks for staying and taking care of your family.  Thanks for believing and loving despite the hardship and the doubts.  Thanks for giving this hope to others like me…

Merry Christmas,
From another father (who knows your Son.)