[editor’s note: re-dated this blog for chronological consistency, but it was first published on 3/25/23]

Prologue

It seems that Scarecrow Video (that I introduced in this post) has come through for me once again. How? By providing me a place to rent this hard-to-find Canadian film, starring–you guessed it–Nicolas Cage, called The Boy in Blue (1986). I originally skipped this film in my WATC(H) chronology because I thought it was an unattainable goal. It’s out of print, not streamable, or even rentable on the digital platforms, and DVD copies for sale run in the neighborhood of $80 on eBay, but Scarecrow had a DVD copy for rent, so I rented it for $5 and watched it this weekend. Score! Watched it a little bit out of sequence, but it’s a nice way to wrap up the 1980s era of Nicolas Cage movies. Happy to mark this one off and complete the list for that decade.

So here we go…

The World According to The Boy In Blue

In this biographical movie, Nicolas Cage plays the Canadian sculler / rower, Ned Hanlan, who was said to be the first professional athlete (and first famous sports celebrity) in Canada in the late nineteenth century. This movie, which was (at least loosely) based on Ned Hanlan’s life and accomplishments as a rower, was not highly acclaimed or well received by its critics, which may account for part of the reason why it’s so hard to find today.

According to wikipedia a critic from the Montreal Gazette said the subject of the film was particularly unpromising, believing that most people would not enjoy, “the story of a boy who was better than anybody else at pulling two sticks through the water.” Another news outlet said they believed that the films major purpose was proving a showcase for an American actor’s chest and disliked that an American actor made no attempt to take on a more Canadian persona.

After watching the movie, I can agree that the script seemed pretty flat, the acting meh, and the sports movie tropes were tired, but for some reason I was still interested in the process and in the outcome.

One reason this flawed movie held my attention is that my wife is a rower. She picked up this sport a few years ago, and is avid in her appreciation of it. She has learned to train on an erg machine, knows all the lingo (from coxswain‘s instructions to “catching a crab“, putting the oars in the rigger, to sweeping or swinging) and she recently raced in a local regatta. So even though the action from The Boy in Blue begins way back in 1875 (when horse-and-buggies were still a primary form of transportation) the topic is relevant to my life now.

Having read a little bit about Ned Hanlan’s life, I am not sure how closely the story in the film corresponds to the real-life details, but it’s fair to say that Hanlan was a pretty remarkable and influential character in the world of professional rowing. He developed a style of rowing that is still used today, was one of the first adopters of the sliding seat (depicted in the movie and eventually be patented by George Warin in 1882), and he built a pro sports infrastructure from scratch, as described here:

“The Hanlan Club” syndicate did not have an obvious business model to follow. Just as he developed modern rowing techniques, Hanlan’s syndicate developed a rowing-for-money game. Local businessmen pooled their finances and skills behind the venture. They set up races, drafted contracts, and drove prize money up as high as they could. Hard to believe, but as many as 100,000 spectators would come to Hanlan’s rowing races. Wage pools ran into the tens of millions in today’s money. The races would always include a turn, so fans could assess the rowers and lay bets midway through the one-to-five mile race action. Hanlan would routinely win $5,000 purses. That was a serious stack back then.

The Scandalous Sculler (CBC)

Ned Hanlan, as self-made entrepreneur and athlete, is not really what we see in the plot and script of The Boy in Blue. Instead, movie Hanlan, is portrayed as a lower class, mischievous bootlegger who happens to be a really good rower, and a local favorite in the town. He is seen evading the police and befriending a promoter Bill (played by David Naughton) who wants to manage Hanlan in rowing races in the U.S. Eventually, Ned agrees to this, and the two men partner up and find a boatmaker Walter, (played by Sean Sullivan) who introduces him to the sliding seat and helps him win some races. When Ned starts winning more rowing races in the U.S. and Canada, this shakes up the gambling establishment, and puts him on the radar of the wealthy rowing club syndicate owner Knox (played by Christopher Plummer). Knox tries to take full advantage of Ned’s talents in various nefarious ways and eventually bets against him in an ultimate race that would potentially cost Walter’s patent. Getting the last laugh Ned marries Knox’s daughter and wins the race with the help of his old pal Bill.

Why this movie is not watchable

So the rowing history is mediocre interesting. Probably the wikipedia info I read was more compelling than any of the cinematic content or quality embedded in the film. The soundtrack is horrendous at times. It reminded me of some of the forgettable made-for-TV Magical World of Disney shows I grew up watching in the late 70s and early 80s. Not the good ones, either. The music of trumpets, oboes, I don’t know. Just kind of ridiculous.

The policeman and pious “religious” zealots in the movie are comedically overdone. Think Keystone Cops and Jon Lithgow’s preacher dad character in Footloose, but way more absurd and bumbling.

There is a “sex scene” in the early part of the film that is obviously so fake it looks anatomically incorrect. Ned and his girlfriend are both obviously clothed beneath the sheets and frantically lunging at one another in a way that makes the act of intercourse seem improbable at best. Laughably this leads to more thrusting and exaggerated screaming, that makes it easy to imagine this is how elementary school kids might pantomime their parents having sex without having any real clue how the act actually works.

Besides these distracting elements, you’d think the competitive rowing scenes would be more interesting, but they aren’t. I kept thinking at times that this movie thinks its Chariots of Fire when in reality it’s just one of those bad sequels to Karate Kid or Rocky, where the audience knows that any magic left in the tube leaked out of the franchise long, long ago.

Why this movie has a few charms left in spite of itself.

We get to see Nicolas Cage in a variety of weird situations and costumes.

The Willy Wonka fit for example.

The rower’s fit. (See Karate kid style headband.)

There’s a scene where we see rowers getting their backside’s greased. These are the later adopters of the sliding seat who make fun of Hanlan’s first attempts using the new-fangled contraption that would one day become the norm.

There’s a fun carnival with a too-fast-for-safety carousel and a chimney-sweep looking street urchin who hooks Ned up with a boatman for “a dollar and a cigarette” (as one does.)

There’s also a scene with a Rocky-in-training style montage that made me think, “Eye of the tiger, bitch!”

And of course there’s always few Nic Cage signature tantrums, bar room fights and flights, and receiving of a good slap from a woman he loves.

Favorite lines from the movie:

• “Well they say I look bigger with my clothes off.”
• “I think she’s foolish for me.”
• “Big words. Don’t butter the beans, Colonel.”
• “You bilge rat! You set the law on me. Back in the water bilge rat!” As Ned tries to throw Bill overboard on the steamship.
• On receiving the nickname ‘the boy in blue’, Ned replies with, “That makes me sound like some kind of fancy boy.”
• “I’m the finest natural sculler in the world.”
• “Oh I could be edifying. Just tell me what it means and I could be edifying.”

Firsts for a Nicolas Cage character as Ned Hanlan in a movie.

• Sculling in boat.
• Role as a bootlegger.
• First time hiding under a prostitute’s hoop skirt.
• Gifting a girl a puppy (it cost $20).
• Hoisted onto the shoulders of an adoring crowd (at a parade in his honor even).
• Has a pistol put in his mouth.

Repeat occurrences

• Incarcerated (See Birdy)
• Chased out of a bar by those who want to beat him up (See Racing with the Moon)

Summing it up

The Boy in Blue was an important movie for me to see as it helped me lock down all the Cage movies I needed to complete the WATC(H) for the first decade of his career. There were a few humorous moments and few bits of trivia, that I will carry with me from the film. I know quite a bit more about the rowing legend, Ned Hanlan now, and how he impacted the sport of rowing. This movie will likely fade into oblivion since there is not a viable digital option available yet for it to continue. And maybe that’s OK, too.

I would have liked to hear Cage take on a friendly Canadian “eh” or use “a-boat” in his pronunciation of “about” but that’s not how it worked “oot”. Maybe next time.