A VERY long time ago, when I was in elementary school, my parents rewarded a good report card (all As / Bs) with a trip to the local amusement palace, Chuck E. Cheese. When it first opened in the late 1900s, Chuck E. Cheese was a pretty clean, 80s-vibrant, and family friendly place that (as a kid) you really wanted to go to. Much like the modern adult equivalent, Dave and Buster’s, it had all the things. There were arcade style games, snack bars, pizza and junk food, skee ball, a ticket-for-prizes counter with stuffed animals, toys, and other mostly worthless curios that children love—AND there were these animatronic Disneyland-style characters that would dance robotically and sing songs over a loudspeaker. They may or may not have creeped everyone out. 

Now, Chuck E. Cheese and his entourage of animatronic friends were arguably pretty creepy (much like clowns are nowadays), especially as they moved unnaturally with their eyelids and mouths flipping open somewhat erratically. But as a kid you don’t really care too much about this stuff–especially if you are eating pizza, playing video games, and stuffing tokens, candy and trinkets into your pockets by the fistful. 

I am sure the animatronics caused many sensitive children (and adults) to have nightmares BECAUSE 1) the chain has faced multiple bankruptcies and are harder to find, and 2)  a few decades later a video game series called Five Nights at Freddy’s came out in which the player takes on the role of a security guard who must survive the night at Freddy’s while homicidal animatronic characters try to kill him / you. 

I’ve never played the video game, but am pretty familiar with this little sub-genre of child’s toy-fun-turned-horror (Child’s Play, Puppet Master, Banana Splits, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, etc.). 

So it’s kinda funny to me, that in WATC(H) #99, Nicolas Cage preempted the film version of Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023) with a knock-off called Willy’s Wonderland (2021)–a FULL two years before the name brand came out. Not only did Nic Cage beat FNAF to the theaters, but I’d argue that he raised the bar on this genre to unreachable heights merely by appearing in the film as the lovable extra-hard working and punishing “mute” Janitor. 

It might not take much explaining, if you ever seen one of these horror films, but let’s walk through the plot and key highlights.

The World According to The Janitor

A second rate (and abandoned) Chuck E. Cheese called Willy’s Wonderland hosts a deranged group of animatronic characters with a suspicious past. Drifters and unsuspecting folks that happen to get stranded in the town of Hayesville, Nevada are enlisted to stay in the family “fun” center overnight to clean it in order to earn payment or accommodation, and a way out of the city. 

This scam is run by a guy named Tex Macado (Ric Reitz) who owns Willy’s Wonderland, the local Sheriff Lund (Beth Grant) and the greasy tow truck driver / mechanic Jed Love (Chris Warner). What’s really going on is much more sinister. 

The amusement palace was once run by a group of pedophiles and serial killers led by Jerry Robert Willis (nearly 20 years ago in 1996) who would lure and murder unsuspecting visitors. When the police finally caught and raided the place they found that Jerry and his sicko crew had performed a Satanic suicide ritual and that their spirits entered the 8 animatronic dolls (via Katra transfer of energy).

The demonic characters (Willy the Weasel, Artie the Alligator, Ossie the Ostrich, Siren Sara, Cammy the Chameleon, Knighty Knight, Gus the Gorilla, and Tito the Turtle) continued to prey upon (and eat) people and had begun to kill people outside of Willy’s Wonderland’s premises. 

In order to keep them from killing again, and to contain their homicidal tendencies, the “leaders” of the town Sheriff Lund, Tex, etc struck a deal with Willy: they offered to bring the dolls a regular human sacrifice, “feeding” a stranger to the animatronic nightmare creatures, to gain immunity for the rest of the town. 

The young teenagers of the town discovered this terrible pact that the Sheriff had made, and lead by Liv (Emily Tosta) whose parents were killed in Willy’s Wonderland, were committed to burning down the establishment. 

Enter the dark and quiet stranger known simply as The Janitor (Nicolas Cage). Driving through the town he gets an (intentional) flat tire brought about by the Leaders, and finds he cannot pay the cash required for the repairs.  So he accepts a deal offered from Jed / Tex that he will clean up Willy’s Wonderland overnight in exchange for his fixed car in the morning.

Essentially, he’s the latest “sacrifice” they are offering the monsters, but instead of going quietly, The Janitor fights back.  One by one he kills the fuzzy fiends, WHILE he continues to clean up the establishment as he has promised to do. 

It’s comedic and bizarre. When the teenagers arrive things get a little out of hand, most of them die at the hands of Willy and gang, and only Liv is saved in the end. 

The Janitor lasts through the night and turns the tables on the Sheriff, Tex, and Jed who ultimately fall to the devils they have been enabling for years now. The Janitor and Liv speed away from town to parts and adventures unknown.

Nicolas Cage is Perfect for This

As we’ve established many times on the WATC(H) Nicolas Cage is not great for every role he chooses to play. 

But he is really great for for this.

Although he says NOT A SINGLE LINE in this film, Nicolas Cage is the perfect actor for this type of bonkers film because he often plays an erratic, quirky fighter of a guy who takes full advantage of his “action film” status but employs it with an over-expressive style that hinges on the melodramatic. If he weren’t such an expressive actor, with his face, mannerism, and body, the “intentional mute” role would have fallen pretty flat other than seeing a man who takes his job seriously while also fighting and killing 8 animatronic monsters while never missing a break (or a beat). This is a horror comedy and Nicolas Cage makes both work well together. Like peanut butter and jelly. 

Here’s a brief summary of the video-game style fights he takes on leading up to the Big Boss fight with Willy at the end of the film:

Fight 1 Janitor vs. Ossie the Ostrich > Setting, while J is mopping. Takes a bite to the face. Uses broken broom and bludgeons Ossie to death. Rips out his mechanical spine.

Fight 2 Janitor vs. Gus the Gorilla > Setting, bathroom, while cleaning up graffiti from an especially filthy bathroom including bathroom mirrors, sinks urinals, etc. Hand to hand combat. Kicks Gus’ head into the urinal so hard until it crushes his skull. He gets sprayed with animatronic blood (oil).

Fight 3 Janitor vs. Knighty Knight > Setting, main room, coming off of his break. Bashes his skull into the wall until he oozes the oil and then slices off Knighty’s head with his own sword. 

Fight 4 Janitor vs. Artie the Alligator > Setting the Super Family Fun room (where the serial killers did their worst work). Hand to hand combat, and then J rips Artie’s jaws apart with his bare hands and then pull out his spine or brain through his throat.

Fight 5 Janitor vs. Cammy the Chameleon > Setting is the arcade, Liv is losing the battle to Cammy. Janitor ties a rope around Cammy’s neck and proceeds to slam her back and forth into the machines until she gets knocked out. This stuns her, but doesn’t kill her, leading to…

Fight 6 Janitor vs. Cammy the Chameleon AND Sarah the Siren > Setting is the main room with Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes playing manically the background. Janitor is handcuffed (thanks to the dumb-ass Sheriff). Breaks the neck of Sara with his legs / thighs and then breaks the neck of Cammy with his arms.

Fight 7 Janitor vs. Willy > Main room with distorted birthday song and confetti and red light sirens blaring. Fights Willy with two-part mop stick taped together and a bag full of his soda pops. Uses both to bludgeon Willy to black pulp. Then rips off his head. 

Bonus – Runs over Tito the Turtle in his car on the way out of town. 

The Breaks

Killing Willy and friends is really just part another part of the job for the Janitor. The most entertaining part of this whole bizarre film was that the Janitor sets his digital watch to ensure he gets a fifteen break every few hours or so. Regardless of what is happening in the action, he takes his breaks on time, and spends them guzzling his favorite energy drink AND playing pinball! Pinball! He even loosens up enough to throw in some dance moves as the night progresses and he’s feeling it more and more.

At one point, he hands Liv a knife because he is “heading on break” at a time when one of the creatures is coming after them. Even though he doesn’t voice it, his unspoken sentiment is: Not my problem, I’m on break.

It’s hilarious. What’s also hilarious is that he doesn’t seem overly bothered by the fact that he’s been set up by the town leaders, that this isn’t even a real job (but a decoy for feeding time), and that escape was always possible for him. He seems to actually be enjoying himself–changing shirts each time one gets soiled with the bloody remains of Willy’s Wonderland.

A Few Other Random Thoughts / Notes

• The songs in this are creepy but do sound reminiscent of Chuck E. Cheese to me: “It’s your birthday, and we want you to have fun. It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone.” 
• Jed wants $1000 for the tow, the tires, and to replace a chip from the car. He claims there is no credit cards, no internet (in the town), cash only.  Pretty sus in this day and age. 
• No one would agree to stay in this dump overnight. And why couldn’t he do it during the day time? 
• Loved how the Janitor would use duct tape for bandaids.
• The Super Happy Fun Room is not any of those things.
• Film references I was unfamiliar with: A Hobson’s choice is a free choice in which only one thing is actually offered. The term is often used to describe an illusion that multiple choices are available.
• Great line, “He’s not trapped in here with them. They’re trapped in here with him!”
• Lynyrd Skynyrd playing freebird at the end. That might be a first for Nicolas Cage film.
• The Janitor drinks 7 Punch Pops over the course of the night, and gives one to Liv at the end.
• He changes shirts 5 times over the course of the night (but I may have missed one)

Firsts for Nicolas Cage as The Janitor

• Playing a character that never speaks a single word throughout the film 
• Hand to hand combat with the equivalent of furries
• Addicted to an energy drink (called Punch Pop)
• Cleaning bathrooms
• Filing down his nails with sandpaper
• Thrown into a giant ball pit
• Using duct tape as bandaids
• Using a toilet plunger

Recurrences

• Getting a temp job In the hospitality industry (The Trust, Looking Glass, Kill Chain)
• Wearing boots (Multiple)
• In a film with a pinball machine (Army of One)
• Working in a kid’s recreational center (Gone in 60 Seconds, i.e. gokarts)
• Dealing with Satanists (Drive Angry)

Quotables

None  

Conclusion

In the words of the Janitor I’ll conclude with…